Government Adds ‘Flood Defence System’ To List Of Empty Election Promises

AN already bulging list of empty election promises has added a brand new, world-leading ‘flood defence system’ to its number as a result of the damage caused by Storm Desmond in various towns and villages on the west coast of the country.

“It’s been a long time coming, this empty promise, and I think this storm proves how important it is to make wild claims about spending millions of euro to protect people’s homes and livelihoods, even though we have no intention to do so,” confirmed Taoiseach Enda Kenny, as he added the flood defence system to an ever growing list.

Experts estimate that the Government various empty election promises could be worth as many as 100,000 votes in next year’s general election.

“Oh, believe you me, even the most intelligent of people fall for this shit,” political expert Ciara Drummond explained to WWN.

Locals in villages badly affected by Storm Desmond such as those living in Bandon, Skibbereen and Kenmare have reacted with indifference to the latest incident of blatant electioneering from the Coalition.

“Didn’t all the parties say something similar before the last fucking election?” Felim Hegarty, a Bandon native whose house has flooded three times in recent years said.

“I moved into a new house last week, which, if I’m being honest, is actually a fucking canoe,” he added confirming he had no faith in the political process.

The Government, however, insist that they would spend “forty billion million trillion on flood stuff yokes from NASA” in the event of receiving votes from everyone.