Israel Just Gonna Sit Back And Watch Everyone Else Do Their Dirty Work


ISRAELI Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has today thanked Western allies for eventually coming around to the idea of bombing Syria, admitting he was getting a bit worried about the whole thing escalating into Jewish territory.

Mr. Netanyahu made the comments while floating in the Dead Sea’s salty water whilst reading the newspaper.

“Great to see the UK involved,” he said, pointing out the news article to a friend. “I like this Cameron fella, we should get him round for tea and some buns, watch some bombings on Sky News in HD, laugh at the aftermath before deciding on the best building contractors to go with.

“Remind me to send some architects to Damascus next week, might as well get some measurements before the Yanks start planning,” he added. “Nice of them to pave the way for us, though.”

Earlier today, the Israeli PM ordered an airstrike in northeast Damascus, striking a group of ballistic missile trucks on their way to the Syrian Army’s 155th brigade. This was in retaliation over stray rockets landing in the 70 percent of the Golan Heights occupied by Israel.

“Sometimes you’ve just got to flex some muscle, even if we’re meant to be on the same team,” he concluded. “The poor Russians won’t know who to bomb in another few months. It’s all going wonderfully”.