Judge Admits Forgetting To ‘Carry The One’ At Initial Pistorius Trial


SHAMED Paralympic gold medalist Oscar Pistorius may be heading to jail for up to 15 years, after judges in South Africa came forward and admitted that the so-called “Blade Runner” may have received an overly lenient sentence following his part in the death of his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp.

Pistorius was sentenced last year to a nickel in prison for the culpable homicide of Ms. Steenkamp in February of 2013.

This manslaughter conviction was today upgraded to murder, after judges took another look at the case and admitted that they had forgotten to “carry the one”.

Currently under house arrest after serving just one year behind bars, Pistorius now faces up to 15 years in jail after judges at an appeals court did their sums again and discovered that firing wildly at someone through the doors of a bathroom stall actually makes you more or less a murderer no matter what way you say it.

“Yeah, we took a look at the rough sums on the margins of the last judge’s copybook, and there’s a few errors there,” said Arjen Rudd, presiding judge.

“Here’s where he added multiple bullets plus one victim plus no witnesses, then subtracted the defence that Pistorius thought it was an intruder. So yeah, he came out with manslaughter, but that’s because he forgot to carry the one; as in, even if it was an intruder, Pistorius still purposely shot the fuck out of them. That’s just poor sums. Our bad”.