Livid Wife Heats Up Revenge In The Microwave

A CAREFULLY orchestrated plan of revenge carried out by Carlow native Hannah Keelin involving a truly awful dinner has been executed to near perfection, WWN has learned.

Sick to death of her husband Vincent and 19 long years of his antics, which generally centre around him being a complete bollocks, Hannah, 37, consulted online forums for the best way to make her dissatisfaction known to him.

Reliably informed that revenge is a dish best served cold by thousands of users on popular web forum myhusbandisaprick.ie, Hannah carefully prepared a lasagne made of gone off cheese, beef and mushrooms while also adding 19 chillis for good measure, in an effort to ensure he’d spend all night on the toilet.

However, owing to Vincent’s degree in bollocksology, he was running some minutes late, prompting Hannah to decide to go against forum users’ advice and heat up the concoction in the microwave to a high, tongue decapacitating temperature.

“I’m fucking kicking myself to be honest, that blast in the micro has probably killed all the bacteria that was going to give him a lethal dose of the scutters, but burning the smart Alec tongue out of his head will put a smile on my face,” Hannah told WWN in an exclusive interview.

Hannah’s dedicated plan of revenge ran into trouble however as after Vincent tucked into the meal, he reportedly asked his wife why she didn’t “put this much effort into dinner all the time, this is one is nice, that casserole from the other night was absolute muck though”.