Irish Prisons To Review Their ‘Snitches Get Stitches’ Policy

IRISH prisons are set for a large overhaul of one of its longest running practices comes under fresh criticism.

‘Snitches get stitches’ is the course of action permitted for inmates by Irish prisons in instances of conflict resolution arising when one prisoner believes a fellow inmate has been telling fibs about him, or informing on any new criminal endeavours he is plotting.

“I suppose these rules were drawn up in the early 50s, back in a time when you were well within your rights to smash some bastard in the face for just looking at you the wrong way,” explained prison warden Donal O’Connell.

“Ironically, that’s what a lot of the prisoners are in here for but conflict resolution and mediation has come a long way since then, and if we’re being honest as hard as these prisoners are, they’d love to avoid stitches whenever possible,” O’Connell added.

Portlaoise and Mountjoy prisons have been chosen for trial programs which will see prisoners foregoing the previous method of bestowing upon a snitch some stitches, in favour of just discussing how the other person’s actions have affected them emotionally.

“Most of the prisoners don’t need any of this stuff as they just get on with their day, but for those for violent in nature, it has done wonders, ‘I’m sad you told the guards about my heroin route through Amsterdam’ and so on,” explained Portlaoise prison officer Richie Fleming.

“There’s been some crosswords and floods of tears, but no knives, bats, guns or knuckle dusters pulled, it’s quite remarkable really,” he added.