Families Of 500,000 Civilians Killed Because Of Iraq War Accept Blair ‘Apology’


THE families of the over 500,000 innocent civilians who died as a result of war-related causes since the invasion of Iraq in 2003 have accepted Tony Blair’s apology, which was half-heartedly given in a wide ranging interview on American news network CNN.

“Ah, you’re fine. Don’t worry about it Tony mate,” read a brief joint statement from the victims’ families, absolving the former prime minister of any guilt, thus bringing an end to the nightmares it is presumed Blair has suffered from ever since erroneously leading the UK into the Iraq War on false pretences.

However, Blair denied he has any trouble sleeping at night.

“Everyone makes mistakes, lol” Blair explained, seemingly unable to access the part of the brain that triggers empathy.

Blair had emerged from a rock under which he regularly hides this past weekend in an effort to get his side of the Iraq War story out before the expected publication of the Chilcot Inquiry into the war in Iraq. It is believed the report will be highly critical of the former Labour leader.

“When you say ‘500,000 deaths’ like that, it sounds so big, but put it in context, it’s like only 1% of the total population of Iraq at the time that was wiped out. So, not that many people really,” Blair explained, clearing up any misconceptions the general public had about civilian deaths.

Defending his part in the Iraq War, Blair pointed out that different strategies explored in subsequent conflicts in Libya and Syria have proven no more successful than the full scale invasion pursued by US and UK forces in 2003.

It is believed Blair was less forthcoming about his alleged role in brokering a deal in 2008 for Muammar Ghaddafi when the former Libyan despot was being forced to pay compensation to US victims of Libyan terrorism. Blair made no mention of the fact it is alleged he cut any UK victims out of the deal in order to save Ghaddafi some money.

The 62-year-old also made no mention of his attempts to secure an honorary knighthood for Syrian leader Bashar Al Assad in 2002 while still prime minister.