Man Who Only Bought His Rugby Jersey Yesterday Livid With Irish Rugby Team


DUBLIN resident Dermot Healy has admitted he was incensed by the Irish rugby team’s exit from the Rugby World Cup yesterday after only making the decision to buy a rugby jersey earlier that morning.

“I’d been on the fence about jumping on the bandwagon, because I’d put an awful lot of effort on social media into boasting about Ireland beating Germany and that had got me a lot of attention actually,” Dermot told WWN, outlining his rationale.

“But then that French game was great, and I thought Jesus, if I buy a rugby jersey imagine all the looks, nods and winks I’d get. I’d be like a Rockstar,” Dermot added, explaining why he had taken the plunge and purchased a rugby jersey in Lifestyle Sports at 11am yesterday morning.

Things had started out well for the highly uncoordinated 26-year-old who rarely has an interest in sporting events, as several individuals had shouted from across the road in Dermot’s direction.

“Ah stuff like ‘go on the boys in green’, classic rugby stuff I’d be well used to at this stage, having bought the jersey about 4 minutes before. I had to spray a truckload of Paco Rabanne on myself to hide the new jersey smell. Once I was in the pub I knew all eyes were on me”.

However, what should have been a great day of celebration for Dermot, took a disastrous turn as Ireland lost to an impressive Argentine side.

“Fucking disgraceful stuff if you ask me. 79 fucking euro on this shirt and I won’t get to wear again for another four years. I believed in these players and they let me the fuck down. I tweeted the IRFU looking for them to cover the costs of my jersey, but haven’t heard anything back yet, which is not on,” a calm Dermot offered.

Dermot is expected to wear the jersey sometime during next year’s 6 Nations Championship, but will do so with little fanfare.