Westlife Summoned To The Hague Following Torture Claims


FOUR remaining members of popular Irish boyband Westlife are to appear before the International Court of Justice in the Hague, following revelations that their music was used to torture suspects being held by the CIA.

Kian Egan, Shane Filan, Mark Something, and Liam, we think, will all appear before a special commission to determine whether or not the singers are guilty of aiding in war crimes.

The stunning developments come days after terror suspect Suleiman Abdullah claimed that the Westlife song “My Love”, not considered to be the worst Westlife song in fairness, was played at ear-splitting volume for days on end in his cell. Abdullah added that the CIA used these techniques to make him give up information about Al Quaeda, and possibly just to be dickheads.

“I was held on an empty street in an empty house, the rooms were getting smaller,” said Abdullah, who finds himself slipping into the song lyrics as a side effect of having been subjected to it for months.

“They just kept blasting this song at me, over and over again. I felt like I was going to lose my mind. All I wanted was to be back home, over seas and coast to coast, to the place I love the most”.

Brian McFadden, who was a member of the group at the time “My Love” was released, is yet to be called to the Hague due to a tricky extradition process with Australia.