Middle-Aged Man Shocked To Find Hometown Nightclub Now “Full Of Youngsters”


RECOVERING at his home in Dublin, one Longford native described his horror the night he visited his hometown nightclub for the first time in ten years only to find it resembled “a fucking creche”.

John Malone, 33, made the trip to his hometown of Killacloughan last Friday to catch up with some friends that he hadn’t seen since college.

Now working as an accountant in Dublin, Malone was enjoying an evening socialising with his old friends in the same pubs they drank in throughout their early twenties. As the night went on, the pals decided to head over the road to Generator, their local nightclub, for old time’s sake.

Noting that the entrance price to “the Gennie” had gone from 8 euro to 15 in the decade since he was there last, Malone was stunned when he found that the majority of the people in the club were much, much younger than he was.

“What’s the fuckin story there, like,” said Malone, still disturbed by the incident.

“I mean, me and the lads were at least ten years older than everyone else there. Young ones going around with fuck all on them, and lads that looked like they haven’t even started shaving yet. The Gennie was never like this back when I was going to it every week, there was always just people of the same age. This is a scandal, altogether. Do these kids not have parents?”

Other changes to the nightclub noticed by Malone included a much louder sound system,  a far rowdier crowd and “some lad in the toilets handing out aftershave”.