‘Ireland’s Fittest Family’ Cancelled As Nation Has Only 3 Healthy Families


RTÉ have confirmed the cancellation of popular entertainment show ‘Ireland’s Fittest Family’ due to a dearth of fit and healthy families on the island of Ireland.

“First two episodes went over grand, but with each new attempt to source a family that could touch their toes without risking a devastating heart attack we came up blank,” a producer explained to WWN.

“We lowered the entry threshold to ‘not getting out of breath while standing up’ but that only got us one more family,” the producer added.

Speculation around the TV show’s viability began upon the news that as many as 60% of Irish people are overweight, according to a survey carried out by the Department of Health.

These figures are all the more damning when placed alongside information obtained from with the health services that suggest the most common blood type in Ireland is now chocolate, and not type O.

The national broadcaster, however reassured viewers that Operation Transformation would remain part of their plans, with the broadcaster citing the huge profits they make selling excess fat lost by contestants on the black market.

“Not only do you see people achieve great and inspiring things, we also make a fortune selling the fat for use as insulation in buildings around the world,” a spokesman confirmed.