Local Scumbag Spitting On The Ground Every 5 Seconds For Some Reason


DUBLIN city locals have expressed concern for a young man with a rare condition which sees him produce a staggering excesses of saliva, leaving him with a near constant need to empty his mouth of spit.

Anthony O’Mahony, a 22-year-old grandson of four, was seen on Dublin’s O’Connell Street earlier this morning pacing the streets, his steady stride interrupted only by a barrage of ‘hocking’, a technique presumably taught to him by a leading throat expert.

Such is the severity of O’Mahony’s condition he is often left with no option but to spit indiscriminately in the path of fellow members of the public.

“Ah it’s awful, this fucking bastarding condition, I just hope I can get the word out there so people are aware we do be suffering with it and that,” O’Mahony told this reporter in between spitting directly in my face and at my shoes.

“It’s fecking dreadful is what it is, ya see, I have so much mucus building up that I risk drowning in it, so I have to be constantly spitting, ya know?” O’Mahony explained.

The Dubliner is believed to be one of over 200,000 young men in Ireland who suffer from the rare condition, and doctors are seemingly no closer to a cure.

“I try to make this noise,” the 22-year-old said while summoning up a guttural noise which seemed to involve his throat and nose, and all his neck muscles, “ya know as a warning to anyone around so they’ve a chance to get out of the way”.

A fundraiser for O’Mahony will be held up and down O’Connell Street this weekend called ‘Spit for Anto’, with all monies raised going towards sending O’Mahony to Ibiza next summer to see a leading expert in the field of Spitology.