Majority Of Celtic Tiger Apartments Held Together By Duct Tape


THE ever increasing list of poorly assembled and maintained apartment blocks in Ireland has prompted the construction sector to admit that the majority of Celtic Tiger era apartments are being held together by duct tape.

“Look, it was a different time back then, you were allowed, even encouraged, to build bigger, and faster, but never stronger or better,” explained the owner of Doyle, Doyle and Doyle construction Peter Doyle Doyle Doyle.

“Sometimes, the Polish lads would be saying ‘boss, we can’t do that, there will a gap’, but sure it was the boom days you know what I’m saying, we’d slap a bit of duct tape on, and call it a fire escape,” another developer Eamon Regent added.

“No one was arsed checking it out, and sure it was about 12 years ago at this rate, it’d just be mean spirited by try and hold us to account for it.

Local councils throughout the country have been inundated with queries from apartment owners and tenants as they fear lazy and irresponsible building work carried out in the boom could affect them.

“I think everyone needs to calm a bit, we have been assured by builders that the best quality duct tape money could buy was used in the construction, so honestly, we can all sleep a little easier,” Dublin councillor Gareth Nagle told WWN, “just don’t do your sleeping under a load bearing wall, ya know, to be on the safe side”.

Of the 9.7 million apartments built during the Celtic Tiger, it is believed only 12 for built to the highest specifications without cutting a single corner.