“I Put The Lettuce On Your Roll Last Just To Piss You Off” Admits Deli Assistant


A YOUNG lady who works at the deli counter of a local convenience store has gleefully admitted that sometimes she makes up salad rolls for people in the least logical possible fashion, just to wreck their heads.

Sharon Carroll, 22, makes dozens of wraps, rolls and sandwiches for customers at the busy deli counter of her local Spar.

Not having any great love for her job, Carroll amuses herself during peak business hours by committing basic salad roll errors just to piss people off, including the cardinal sin of putting lettuce on last after all other ingredients.

History has proven that not one single customer complains when their roll is made in such a haphazard fashion, allowing Carroll to gleefully continue to watch people’s faces sink as they watch her make them a structurally unstable salad roll.

“I’m just doing it to piss people off at this stage,” giggled the mischievous Carroll.

“Sometimes they’ll be wise and ask for each ingredient in the order they want it on the roll, so I can’t do anything like cram on fistfuls of lettuce at the end. So I’ll try and get them some other way. Trust me, never ask me for a ‘little bit’ of anything. You ask me for a ‘little bit’ of onion and trust me, you’re getting every onion in the shop”.

Carroll went on to state that several customers have begun to “hold back” in the queue, in order to be served by the other deli assistant, a ruthlessly efficient Latvian sandwich genius with no English other than ‘butter, mayonnaise?’