Croke Park Residents Warn Pope Not To Even Think About It


FOLLOWING hints that Pope Francis may be planning a visit to Ireland as soon as 2018, members of the Croke Park residents association have come forward and told tour organisers that they know what they’re thinking, and to not even attempt it.

Rumours about the pontiff’s plans to come to Ireland began to spread during his historic visit to the United States, when he confided in aides and archbishops that a journey to Ireland was “not out of the question”.

This immediately sparked concerns of a repeat of the infamous Garth Brooks debacle, in which the country singer sold out five consecutive nights at the stadium, sparking a massive backlash from the Croke Park Residents Association (CPRA) which lead to the gigs being cancelled entirely.

It is feared that the mistakes of the past would be forgotten in the haste to make the Pope’s visit as lucrative as possible, something the CPRA want to nip in the bud straight away.

“The Pope is more than welcome to come to Ireland, but we’re not going to have a million Catholics pissing on our lawns for a fortnight,” said one Croke Park resident, who likes Pope Francis but doesn’t want him on her doorstep.

“A million people went to see Pope John Paul when he came here, and Croke Park holds 80,000 or thereabouts, so there’d have to be two weeks of gigs to meet demand. Jog on Francie, it’s not happening”.

The GAA has yet to rule out inviting Pope Francis to Croke Park, and have released a statement extolling the economic benefits such an event could have for the community as well as their own pockets.