Traffic Lights On Roundabout Exits Working Out Just Perfectly


THERE has been widespread praise from motorists this week over the increasing number of traffic lights being placed at roundabout exits.

Pedestrian crossings, situated at the mouth of many Irish roundabouts, have been hailed as a stunning success in the battle against practicality, trapping thousands of motorists in situ for hours every year.

“There’s nothing like waiting to get onto a roundabout for ten minutes and then being stopped dead by pedestrians crossing at the exit,” insisted south Dublin motorist Donal Keane. “I think my favourite roundabout has to be Glenageary. Oh, how my balls tingle at the red lights there every time I come home from work. It’s the fucking highlight of my day.”

Welcoming the praise, town planners across the country thanked motorists for their kind feedback, promising plenty more mini-roundabouts and out-of-sync traffic lights in the future.

“It’s just great to be recognized for our work.” said local council decision maker Thomas Carroll. “I think every roundabout should have pedestrian crossings right at the roundabout exit. Pushing them down the road a bit sounds a bit too convenient if you ask me.”

The average Irish town currently has over 12,000 roundabouts and 43,000 traffic lights, with that number expected to double by 2016.