Volkswagen Drivers Not So Smug Now
VOLKSWAGEN drivers have been left in a confusing situation after damaging revelations about the car manufacturers came to light in recent days.
News that Volkswagen had been purposefully tricking car emission tests in the US and Europe into thinking the car was more environmentally friendly with the aide car smart technology has resulted in the resignation of VW’s chief and an almost immediate end to the smugness of drivers of the car brand.
“Yeah about fucking time someone brought those bloody Golf drivers down a peg or two,” Dublin motorist Alan Jennings said in response to the news, in a tone that was remarkably aggressive for something that didn’t really directly affect him.
“I had it all, lower emissions, the efficient German engineering without crippling prices, decent resale value. Now how am going to smugly convince my friends that I was getting the best bang for my buck?” Conor Carthy, Golf owner asked WWN.
Volkswagen drivers had occupied the unique position of owning reliable, relatively cheap cars that didn’t look like hideous rust buckets even after years of wear and tear, therefore affording them the chance to remain quietly smug as those around them purchased more expensive cars which encountered endless problems.
Additionally, they avoided the stereotypes encountered by other motorists who drive cars produced by other manufacturers such as arsehole BMV bastards, Mercedes pricks, Lada losers and Nissan geebags.
“I thought I owned the good type of German stuff, you know efficient, reliable, when it came to my Polo,” explained Maria Thomas, once perceived to be a prudent car purchaser, “but I’ve ended up with the bad type of German, you know, the lying, the speaking German and the evilness”.