Local Teen Embarks On Doomed Rap Career

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GOING against the advice of everyone who has listened to him rap, Dunmore Road native Fiachra Drummond has officially embarked on a doomed rap career.

Through a series of Snapchat stories and Facebook video posts, the 16-year-old showcased a complete lack of talent, relying heavily on the words ‘sky’, ‘high’, and ‘why’.

Avoiding the more complex rhyming schemes employed by revered and respected rappers, Drummond has focused only on discussing his ‘bitches’ and near endless imaginary supply of Crystal champagne.

After much speculation amongst the dedicated group of friends who have warned him off his new career, Fiachra finally arrived on the rap name ‘DJ Pussy Magnet’.

Following several minutes of intense Googling DJ Pussy Magnet felt assured that, amazingly, no one else had chosen the name before him.

DJ Pussy Magnet has confirmed he will release his latest joint this Thursday, which is will be delivered over an instrumental track of Eminem’s ‘Lose Yourself’.

Exploiting his mother’s need to connect with her son, DJ Pussy Magnet has persuaded her to rent out Garter Lane Arts Centre for his mixtape launch later this month.

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