8 Emojis That Come In Handy When Trying To Plan A Murder
WITH the overwhelming reach police authorities throughout the world now possess when it comes to the digital world, it is harder and harder to plan murders online.
Too often murderous schemes fall apart at the seams as surveillance wins out and the result is arrests and jail time for all those involved.
So what alternatives do individuals have if they want to off an elderly relative to get that inheritance a little sooner? Or perhaps you just want to kill your dickhead boss. This is where the unstoppable rise of the emoji comes in.
Police forces have been slow to crack the code of the endless meanings of emojis, and so they are proving to be the best way to plan murders with friends and/or hired hitmen.
Read on to discover the 8 essential emojis you will need, fail to use these bad boys and you’ll have be sporting an embarrassed rosey checked smiley face before too long.
1) The Gun
Obvious we know, but the gun shows you mean business, and also have a beginner to intermediate level knowledge of what weapons can prove fatal to humans. Send this on to your accomplice via Whatsapp and they’ll know you were serious about killing Greg from accounts. It is recommended you place a smiley face with Xs for eyes beside it just to really hammer home the point.
2) The ghost thing with wavey hands
It’s important to throw any potential observers off the scent as quickly as possible. The use of the ghost thing with wavey hands tells any snooping Garda or FBI officer that ‘hey, look at me I’m a ghost, and waving my hands ha ha. Blah, look at me go, I’m even sticking out my tongue’. See they’ll have already forgotten about that gun emoji and moved right along.
3) A Knife
The addition of the knife opens a dialogue with your would-be murderer companion, and suggests that while the decision to plan a murder has been made, you are open to discussing what implements to use. Smart.
4) The Fist
A gentle reminder to whomever you are planning with that if they squeal to the cops they’ll be in big violent trouble. The previous knife emoji has now gained an even more sinister place in your emoji based communication: snitches get stitches.
5) The Smiley Poop
Before you misunderstand the poop’s place on this list, let us be clear – it is to imply that once the target is murdered, they will need to be discharged somewhere discreet and then flushed away hiding all evidence, much like a poop. It also serves as yet another emoji which will disarm, amuse and distract any prying police eyes. Additionally there’s a good chance you’ll be shitting it while carrying out the murder.
6) Dark Moon
That’s right, your accomplice will need to know when you’re putting your dastardly emoji based plan into action. The answer can be found in the dark moon, nightfall shall be your cover as Greg from accounts usually goes to bed around 10 after watching a bit of Netflix. He doesn’t suspect a thing.
7) Angel
That happy, smiling and contented angel will be the sign that the deed is done. And the authorities will be none the wiser. See, it couldn’t be easier planning a murder with only emojis, and Greg’s body was surprisingly light which is always a bonus.
8) Smiling Devil
Though seemingly mischievous on the outside, the use of the devil will symbolise to you and your cohorts that you have committed a great evil. No matter how successful the planning through emojis was, there will always be other emojis that will speak of the violence you committed. Staring, emoting, judging.