Corrib Gardaí Make Empty Pint Glass Hand Motion At Shell

GARDAÍ policing the disputed Mayo coastline where the proposed Corrib pipeline is supposed to come on shore have been overheard complaining loudly that they’re “so thirsty”, usually within earshot of Shell officials working on the project.

The area has become the grounds for bitter protest between the Shell corporation, who wish to bring ashore natural gas from the Corrib gas field some 80km from the coast, and the Shell-To-Sea protest group who are standing against the environmental and health ramifications of a proposed onshore refinery.

Large numbers of gardaí have been brought in to keep the peace during the ongoing saga, which has lasted for well over a decade. These gardaí have frequently become involved in clashes with protest groups, and have been dogged by claims of corruption after information emerged suggesting that officers operating out of a Garda station in Belmullet were supplied with €30,000 worth of alcohol purchased by OSSL, a company hired by Shell to manage its affairs in Rossport.

Although never proven, gardaí serving at the site have recently been observed looking in the direction of OSSL employees, while making the universally accepted hand signal for “my pint is empty”.

“Damn, keeping the peace around here sure is thirsty work”, one guard was heard to say, within earshot of Shell officials.

“I know, I’m so parched I don’t think I’m going to be able to hold back these protestors for much longer”, said another. “If only we had something to quench our great thirst, I’m sure we’d do a much better job and arrest far more of these people for no good reason”.

Shell issued a statement later in the day, stressing that they understood the message perfectly well, and that guards could stop pretending that they were holding each other up as if severely dehydrated.