Nation Wondering When Opposition Parties Are Going To Get The Finger Out


A POLITE and courteous Irish public has gently nudged Ireland’s opposition parties in an attempt to ascertain the exact time frame in relation to their undertaking of finger from arse extraction.

As Ireland continues to flourish economically with record exports and increasing bullshit emissions from the Silicon Docks area of Dublin, it has not been lost on some citizens that Ireland has yet to achieve a Zen-like economically prosperous state.

“Look, I’m sorry I know you’re on your holliers now. I don’t like rocking the boat but ya know with the homeless figures going up, and the arse falling out of the HSE, could you guys start inspiring confidence in the opposition,” normal everyday citizen of Ireland politely queried to Fianna Fáil on their Facebook page earlier this morning.

Such declarations are becoming increasing commonplace as many voters are turned away from the current coalition Government after a succession of failures those in political circles are calling ‘epic fuck ups’.

“Lads, honestly it’s getting so bad that I’d consider voting for you lot,” Dubliner Emmet Gorey said in an emotional exchange with Sinn Féin this afternoon.

“But, I dunno if this is me being difficult, but, could you ever turf that Adams lad out, then I’d have me mind made up for you lot,” he added to no response.

When contacted by WWN, all main opposition parties declined to confirm the exact date of their finger out of arse extraction, but did all confirm that they wanted to change the face of Irish politics forever with various policies which at this point were just at the first draft stage.

In other news, newly formed party the Antisocial Democrats have caused €100,00 worth of damages to Leinster House after a raucous riot.