Successful Rural Man Constantly Reminded That He’s Far From Where He Was Reared


RESIDENTS of a small rural town in the west of Ireland have united in an agreement that the lifestyle of Conor O’Sullivan, currently living and working in Dublin, is very far from where he was reared.

O’Sullivan, 27, has carved out a successful career in law in Dublin in the four years since leaving his hometown of Ballyshannagh in Roscommon. During that time he has picked up several new interests and hobbies, and has developed a taste for a large variety of food and drink.

The people of Ballyshannagh, many of whom have never left County Roscommon, have come to the agreement that O’Sullivan’s new lifestyle is incongruous with his rural upbringing, and have taken it upon themselves to remind him of this every time he visits home.

These reminders, usually taking the form of “It’s far from (blank) you were reared”, are issued to O’Sullivan whenever he says or does something that the people of Ballyshannagh are unfamiliar with, or just don’t like the look of.

“I seen him in the local cafe the other day, drinking green tea,” said one villager, who thinks all the O’Sullivans have airs and graces about themselves.

“I said it to him, I said ‘it’s far from green tea you were reared’. I feel it’s important to let people know that they needn’t try to experience new things or act in a manner any different to the rest of us. Same craic later in the day, when I saw him driving a 152 reg car. ‘It’s far from 152 reg cars you were reared’, we told him. Sure, we couldn’t let him think he was any better than the rest of us”.

O’Sullivan has so far accepted that resistance to the constant reminders that he is “far from where he was reared” is pointless, and just shrugs and laughs and asks himself why he bothers coming back to this shithole one-horse town.