Irish Terror Threat At ‘Beige Level’ Confirms Government


IRELAND is at its highest level of alert for a jihadist attack following Government confirmation that the terror threat level has been raised to ‘beige’.

This marks the first time since the signing of the Good Friday Agreement that Ireland’s domestic terror system has risen above its usual ‘soft mocha’ levels.

The colour alert levels, which are sponsored by Dulux paints, are the clearest measurement of possible attacks on home soil and the latest news has sent the public into a frenzy.

“Fucking beige? Christ I’ll have to pick up the kids from the creche,” panicked receptionist Julie Caffrey told WWN as she fled her office.

Minister for Foreign Affairs Charlie Flanagan confirmed the Gardaí are monitoring several jihadists based in Ireland but despite this urged the public to remain calm.

“Look, the best thing any member of the public could do now is just reach for sweeping generalisations about anybody with a tan in order to make themselves feel a bit better,” the minister confirmed.

News that there are several known jihadists operating in Ireland has seen a 4000% increase in calls to the Gardaí regarding ‘some lad probably called Muhammad or Ali or something’.

Ireland has remained the easiest open goal for potential terrorists for the several years now with terrorist preferring however to strike more challenging countries.