WWN Guide To Excuses For Hitting Women

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ONE in every five relationships in Ireland is tainted by domestic abuse, and if you’re one of the men who gives his partner the odd dig every now and then, you may feel that society looks on you unfavourably.

Many of the people who beat their wives or partners often find it hard to explain their actions to other people, and as such we at WWN have compiled this helpful list of things you can say to explain to people that you’re not really just some low-life piece of shit.

1) Say it was only “that one time”.

Your partner isn’t in an abusive relationship if you only hit her once; that’s like saying she’s a florist because you bought her some roses to say you were sorry. Flying off the handle and hitting a woman is grand, as long as you don’t make a habit of it. If you space it out enough, you can say that “it was just one time” more than once and it’ll still be technically true.

2) Make sure people know you didn’t hit her that hard.

Everyone will understand that you simply had to lay your hand on your partner, as long as you don’t annihilate her altogether. Use words like “a tip” or “barely touched her” to convey just how much of a fuss about nothing this all is. For example, you can say “I pushed her” rather than “I punched her”, even if you pushed her with your fist, to her eye.

3) Just say it was all her fault.

Society is programmed to blame women for everything that happens to themselves, so it doesn’t take much to get people on your side by saying that your battered partner either:

  1. a) gave you no choice but to hit her, or
    b) is straight up lying.

Even if she shows up with a bruised face, it’s the natural reaction of people to assume that she’s making it out worse than it is, or making a big fuss about nothing, so all you have to do when questioned is to shrug and say things like “you know.. sometimes she just…”. You don’t even need to finish your sentence! People will automatically know that you did what you had to do, and probably not even give out to you about it.

In summary, domestic abusers are having a harder time these days as more and more women are reporting their cases to the authorities, or reaching out for help from sites such as womensaid.ie. Be sure to follow the steps above when you try to explain yourself, otherwise people might think you’re some sort of scumbag.

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