“We’re Gonna Need A Bigger Sign” – Westboro Baptist Church


MEMBERS of the controversial Westboro Baptist Church, a notorious anti-homosexuality group, have reacted to the decision by the Supreme Court Of The United States to legalise gay marriage in all 50 states, stating that they were “gonna need a bigger sign”.

The Supreme Court ruled by a margin of 5-4 that the banning of same-sex marriage went against the guarantees of equality set forth in the US constitution, paving the way for gay people across America to marry each other, at long last.

The move has been met with resignation by the Westboro Baptist Church, who claim that God hates America for allowing homosexual people to even exist, and now claim that by allowing gay marriage, SCOTUS has pretty much flung open the gates of Hell.

Ahead of the impending rapture, the WBC are preparing to do what they do best in situations like this; stand around on corners holding up inflammatory signs daubed with homophobic slogans.

“As soon as we heard the result, we sent the young ‘uns down to Walmart to get a load of art supplies” said one WBC member, as she sat wondering whether to write ‘God Hates Fags’ on her sign as usual, or mix it up a bit with ‘Fags? God Hates You’.

“We’ve been doing our best with these A5 signs, but it looks like we’re going to have to step it up a notch, maybe get some plaster slabs and use those, or big sheets of plywood or something. Whatever size it is, it’ll be big, and it’ll let fags know that God hates them”.