Taoiseach Bravely Says Exactly What He’s Been Told To Say On Greece


IRELAND’s Taoiseach Enda Kenny has had praise heaped on him by the EU, the ECB and the IMF following his latest comments on Greece’s debt crisis.

“It takes real bravery to stick exactly to the script,” Mario Draghi, head of the ECB told WWN earlier today, “the ear piece we gave him, feeding him dialogue obviously helps, but he has shown a real Meryl Streep-like flair for this”.

The Taoiseach’s appetite for toeing the official line is said to be much respected by a number of EU leaders, with additional praise reserved for similar statements given by Joan Burton.

“We’re not even close to the nomination deadline for the Biggest Lick Arse in the EU, but I think I’ll vote for Enda early,” Angela Merkel revealed to German press earlier today.

It is thought 100% of the Irish people share similar warm sentiments of the Taoiseach and his comments on the ongoing Greek crisis.

As talks continue between Greece and the EU, it is understood Enda has secured a huge role in a separate set of meetings taking place nearby.

“I don’t know how he does it, it’s a near encyclopedic knowledge,” explained Christine Lagarde of the IMF, “how he remembers that many drinks orders is beyond me”.

As a result of the Taoiseach’s good performance it looks like Tourism Ireland is in line for a seasonal tourism boost with rumours EU leaders are actively looking for dumping spots in the Wicklow mountains in which to bury Greece’s lifeless corpse.