Irish Blood Transfusion Service Seek Urgent Donations From Everyone Except Queers
A PLUNGE in the supply of blood donations has prompted the Irish Blood Transfusion Service (IBTS) to issue an urgent appeal for the public to come forward and donate blood, as long as they aren’t ‘some sort of homo’.
With the stock of blood units at an all time low, people are being urged to visit their nearest donation clinic and donate, as long as they aren’t a man who has had another man’s penis enter his body at any stage in his life.
“I’m just doing my part to help out,” said Sean Conlon, who, despite riding strange women at every given opportunity is allowed to donate as much blood as the IBTS will take.
“You know you’re helping out somebody who badly needs it, and you never know when you might need a transfusion yourself. Plus, it only takes a half an hour, so I can get back to whoring around as much as I like”.
In an official statement issued this week, the IBTS were quick to state that while they point-blank refuse blood from men who have had sex with other men, even if a condom was used at the time, they aren’t discriminating against homosexuals in the slightest.
“Gay men are more than welcome to donate blood,” said William Eaton, chief spokesperson for the IBTS.
“Just as long as they’ve never had any form of sex with another man. If you’re a gay celibate virgin, then by all means land in and we’ll take your blood. But if you’ve had so much as the tip of a penis inside your mouth or bum at any stage in your life, then we ask that you keep your filthy blood to yourself”.