Micheál Martin Arrested On Suspicion Of Impersonating A Politician

A DAWN raid on the Cork home of Fianna Fáil leader Micheál Martin has resulted in his arrest on charges of impersonating a politician, WWN can exclusively reveal.

The Gardaí acted on multiple tip offs, one from a woman in the north bay area of Dublin and another from a man in Cork after claims were made that despite appearing to be the leader of a political party, Martin was nothing of the sort.

“He seems to have lived this double life,” arresting Garda Eoin Callan told WWN earlier today, “in public he’s been making grand claims about equality and fairness in Irish life, but behind closed doors he it appears, has been a limp and lifeless enabler of gross inertia and ineffectiveness”.

“We knew we had him nabbed when he starting saying he was the leader of Fianna Fáil this, was a politician that. I mean, we had all the evidence to the contrary. He’s probably looking at years in the wilderness after this,” added Garda Callan.

Martin and his mostly male party colleagues have come under criticism for their reluctance to be part of the huge social movement to bring about Marriage Equality in Ireland, instead preferring not to canvass for a yes vote fearing it would hinder their chances of reelection.

Criminology expert Glen Hobbs believes Martin’s psychology is similar to that of his fellow fraudsters.

“Somewhere, in the deep recesses of their subconscious, they want to get caught and Martin is no different. He knew talking about gender quotas while doing little to enforce them as well as pretending Fianna Fáil were somehow a new, modern party would eventually catch up with him,” Hobbs revealed.

Martin is expected to stand trial in the coming months, but Garda insiders have revealed he is just one of 4 political party leaders under investigation for impersonating a politician.