2 in 5 Irish People Being Treated For Nostalgia Addiction

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AN increasing number of Irish people are presenting themselves at addiction treatment centres around the country in an effort to combat their crippling addiction to nostalgia.

Nostalgia, an often over sentimentalised desire to observe and relive previous chapters or occurrences in one’s life, is affecting 2 in every 5 Irish people, rendering them incapable of carrying out basic tasks or contributing to daily life in any meaningful way.

“I was walking out of the shop the other day and a wrapper flew by on the wind, it was for a Wispa mint, do you remember them? I couldn’t help it, I just starting weeping and was looking online for lists of food Ireland had back in the day,” Anne Doyle told a packed NA meeting in Dublin’s city centre.

NA or Nostalgia Anonymous meetings are becoming more commonplace in people’s lives as they try to wean themselves off the idea that everything in the past was fantastic and should be viewed through rose-tinted glasses.

“Mosney!” shouted Dave O’Leary, another nostalgia addict, to the packed room which seemed to be a trigger for many in attendance as they began searching for old photos of Mosney online immediately.

“I think I’d be alright if it wasn’t for the memes, they just sprout up on your Facebook feed and your like ‘ah yeah Ian Dempsey’s jumpers on the Den’,” Dave explained to WWN, “I’m being told by my sponsor that it is just my way of leaving the fact I’m getting older and will one day die – unconfronted”.

Darker scenes are a frequent fixture on the country’s busy thoroughfares as many addicts try to get their fix by engaging strangers in memories of Italia 90, when the Spice Girls first came to fame, the Pope’s visit, watching Home Alone at Christmas and thousands of other nostalgia inducing moments.

Older generations see their nostalgia addiction manifest in the constant showing of old photo albums to house guests and watching repeats of Midsomer Murders.

“We have appealed directly to a number of publications to cease their incessant mining of the past to form lists and what have you, as it makes it nearly impossible for our patients to recover and move on with their lives,” explained addiction expert Dr. Emmett Brown.

“Actually, it’s a bit like the heroin epidemic in Dublin in the 80s,” Dr. Emmett Brown added, seemingly unaware he was a victim of his own nostalgic lamentations for the 80s.

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