12% Rise In Teenagers Getting Their First Shift At A Gaeltacht


THE Irish Institute of Shifting has revealed that last year Ireland saw a 12% rise in the number of teenagers getting their first shift at a Gaeltacht.

While traditionally a fertile shifting ground for the Nation’s hormone riddled teenagers, it comes as a surprise to most experts that Gaeltachts are still the number one place for teenagers to bash teeth against one another in an awkward manner.

“We were surprised at first but upon revising the figures we can speculate as to the increase,” head of the Irish Institute of Shifting Geroid O’Lonergan told WWN.

“It seems with teenagers burying their heads in their phones they are less likely to notice the girls and boys around, putting off the desire to shift for some by a number of months,” O’Lonergan added.

An increasing number of teenagers who have yet to kiss anyone by the time they turn 13 are ignoring their surroundings locally, meaning a sharp drop in the number of shifts sourced from their local group of peers.

“We have yet to conclude our studies surrounding fingering and associated activities, but I’d go out on a limb here and say we’ll see similar knock on effects,” O’Lonergan concluded.

The importance of Gaeltachts in a child’s shifting development have long outweighed the importance of learning Irish and these latest figures are expected to result in yet more children being shipped off for a few weeks in the summer.

“No son of mine is going to put off getting the first shift any longer,” explained concerned parent Aine Downey, “and look, if he learns a bit of Irish – what’s the harm?”