Parents To Hide All Evidence Of Frozen Sequel From Children For As Long As They Can


PARENTS today woke up in a nightmare land where the announcement of a Frozen sequel is everywhere, WWN can exclusively reveal.

Disney film Frozen has been one of the most beloved animated films in recent years with young children growing ever more obsessed with the story and its cast of characters.

However, due to younger children’s complete failure to master the concept of time, parents are now faced with close to two years of torturous questioning from their children as they constantly wail ‘when is Frozen 2 out, is it out now Daddy? Why not? Why? Why? Why? I want Frozen 2 now now now!’

“I heard some impossibly happy fucker on the TV launch into talking about it, but the youngest was watching it so I leapt across the room and chucked the TV out the window,” explained, concerned parent John Freeman, “I panicked, but if she finds out there’s a sequel she won’t stop begging me to take her to the cinema until it is finally released. Please don’t make me do this shit all over again”.

Parents have been urged by Disney to pretend the original Frozen is in fact Frozen 2, playing it on DVD in the hope that no child notices it is an attempt at tricking them.

“Is Disney serious? My two kids haven’t said anything in the last year that isn’t a quote from fucking Frozen,” explained panicked parent Ciara Varney, “once, I said they couldn’t watch Frozen… next thing I knew I woke up in hospital after the eldest knocked me out with a frying pan”.

Those concerned by the news of the sequel have been urged to remain calm and if their children persist in badgering them about the arrival a Frozen sequel, they should try locking their child in a soundproof cage until the movie comes out.

If parents deem these actions as over the top, the department of education here in Ireland has recommended sending children into class with ear plugs tapped to their ears so they avoid hearing about the sequel from their classmates.

“My youngest is a crafty little bitch,” explained loving parent Anna Edwards, “she has me calling her Elsa for the past year and a half she’s that obsessed with it. They’ve no release date for the sequel so who knows how long she will complain at me…if she finds out I might just leave her on the side of the road. I couldn’t take the screaming”.