Obama Dreading Arrival Of ‘That Irish Prick’


PRESIDENT of the United States, Barack Obama is today preparing himself for the arrival of Enda Kenny for St. Patrick’s Day celebrations, and is said to be dreading the arrival of ‘that Irish prick’.

Mr. Obama has met An Taoiseach on several occasions, where the two were found to have nothing in common and nothing to talk about. Stuck for conversation on one particular awkward occasion, Obama reportedly told Kenny to “drop by anytime”, only to regret the offer when An Taoiseach showed up at the White House the very next March.

The Taoiseach, jetting off today for his trip to America where he will celebrate St. Patrick’s week by imposing on as many people as possible while vacantly smiling like an idiot, is expected in Washington on the 17th.

Just like last year, he will present the president with a bowl of Shamrock which Obama told him last year was “too much”, “really thoughtful” and “just what he wanted”, before making himself at home for the rest of the day.

“The president is pretty much dreading the arrival of Mr. Kenny,” said Sam Weinstein, chief of security at the White House.

“He has been rubbing his temples all week at the thought of having to put up with him, and was in the attic for an hour trying to find the hurley he received as a gift so that he can pretend that he plays with it ‘all of the time'”.

“The first lady is mad as hell at Mr. Obama for inviting him in the first place, as she wanted the family to go away that day. They’re all up there now, practicing how to say ‘Taoiseach'”.

Mr. Kenny will be met by Obama on the White House lawn on Tuesday morning, with the President expected to get straight into discussions about how the traffic is mental and how Enda should probably be making a move if he wants make his flight back to Ireland.