Ireland’s Top Beaches Still Lack Proper Baywatch Slow-Mo Running Facilities

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TRAVEL bible TripAdvisor has released its list of Ireland’s top beaches with Cork’s beautiful Inchydoney strand coming out on top.

While the list may at first appear to be a cause for much celebration TripAdvisor added a warning in the article which could leave the Irish tourism industry in tatters.

The offending quote at the bottom of the TripAdvisor list read “while Ireland’s beaches are undoubtedly beautiful, they lack that key quality that all truly great beaches have: the right environment for slow motion Baywatch running”.

‘Baywatch running’ to the uninitiated is running undertaken, sometimes inadvertently, by attractive women, which is beloved by teenage boys, perverts and teenage perverts.

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This news becomes damaging when it is taken into account that beaches, Irish beaches are a favourite amongst perverts and show offs alike. The result of such news could be a huge reduction in tourists flocking to beaches here in Ireland.

The Irish Tourism Board had sought the opinion of the world’s leading beachologists, but sadly not one of them disagreed with TripAdvisor’s assessment.

“The sand on most popular beaches in Ireland lack the right consistency. Some are too soft meaning the ‘Baywatch Bounce’ is not at its ideal ‘giggly’ levels,” explained beachologist, and pervert Oliver Fleming.

“Conversely, some of Ireland’s worst beaches are made up of jagged stones which produce excessive ‘Baywatch Bounce’, and it all gets a bit wild as those running tries to avoid the sharp conditions underfoot”.

American beaches are considered to have optimum stiffness in their sand which first attracted TV producers to their shores to film 90s show Baywatch. Famously the show was to be set in Wexford on Curracloe beach.

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