“Golden Ball Really Fucking Important,” Insists Central Bank

THE Central Bank has come out in defence of the costly relocation of a great big giant golden ball that sits outside its offices to its new North Wall Quay offices, insisting that “the golden ball is really fucking important”.

“I’m not sure the public get the gravity of the situation,” explained Central Bank spokesman Gary Greenleaf.

“Whenever someone thinks of the Central Bank they don’t think ‘asleep on the job’, ‘ineffectual’ or ‘inadequate’. They think ‘oh the place with the giant fucking ball’. If we don’t transport that to our new offices, we’re letting the public down, we’re losing the most important part of our being,” he added.

While some members of the public balked at the reported €550,000 cost involved in transferring the golden ball thing, others expressed downright confusion at having been transported back to the early 2000s when several idiotic and costly exercises on a similar scale were carried out under previous governments.

“Like I’m no, like, banking expert and that, but I try to be good with me money and that,” shared homeless man Derek Slaney, who lives on a bench beside the Central Bank, “but if it cost €550,000 would they not be better off leaving it the fuck where it is?”

Slaney’s concerned were raised by WWN with Central Bank spokesman Greenleaf but he assured the public, they need to see the bigger picture.

“The idea they we could simply leave behind the golden ball thing is not an option, as we said before, it’s really fucking important. I can’t stress enough how fucking important the big golden ball is,” concluded Greenleaf.