Man To Face Intense Battle With Dodgy Streaming Site While Watching McGregor Fight


AS final preparations begin for Saturday’s UFC event in Boston where Conor McGregor will face Dennis Siver in the headline bout of Fight Night 59, one Irish MMA fan is preparing himself for a gruelling battle with the dodgy-as-fuck streaming website he intends to watch the fight on.

Donnacha O’Hanlon, a 24-year-old veteran of nearly 30 UFC pay-per-views illegally watched online, will have to wait till Saturday to see if his chosen website will be able to provide a stream which will allow him to watch the much anticipated bout between McGregor and Siver without freezing or cutting out.

O’Hanlon, whose watch/cut-out ratio is 13-17, is hoping to be able to control the viewing as much as he can, although the streaming site he is facing is notorious for surprise attacks such as dropping connection at the last minute, launching spam and pop-up attacks, and administering dead links which lead to websites selling pills that make your penis bigger.

“This is a fight I’ve had before, and won, so hopefully I have the upper hand again,” said O’Hanlon, speaking at the weigh-in today.

“I have every intention of controlling the evening, and maintaining a good, watchable stream on my laptop where I can watch the fight without much aggro. In the past, the site has left me sitting there with my beer getting warm and my pizza getting cold as I desperately click refresh trying to get a link that doesn’t fill my hard-drive with granny porn… I’ve studied my opponents’ tricks, I’m ready for anything that gets thrown at me”.

Pundits are betting that O’Hanlon, deemed to scabby to buy the fight on PPV, will have an easy time during the early bouts on the card, but struggle when heavy internet traffic hits for the headline bout between Siver and MacGregor, leading to a total and unsalvageable freeze-up just as “The Notorious” Irishman enters the ring.