Scientists Create Genetically Modified Puppies That Will Only Last For The Christmas Period


SCIENTISTS in Houston, Texas have announced an incredible breakthrough in genetic engineering today that will see an end to the age old problem of abandoned animals that were previously given as Christmas presents.

Professor Jonathan Graynor, of the Medical Genetics Laboratories at Baylor College of Medicine, claims that his group of researchers have successfully created a dog embryo that, when born, lasts for just 8-10 weeks.

Preliminary tests indicate that 99.7% of the animals modified, die just before the annoying puberty phase, solving numerous problems attached to owning your very own family dog, including feeding, walking and grooming it.

“Research tells us that most families tend to lose interest in the animal after just six to eight weeks, so we decided to eradicate this problem by creating a cute puppy that expires in this given time frame,” explained Prof. Graynor. “After some study into genetic diseases, we were able to locate a dormant gene in the animal that triggers cell degeneration. With that, we were able to produce litters that only last for two months – perfect for families wishing to buy puppies, just for Christmas.

It is expected that the newly set up ‘Christmas Puppies’ franchise will begin selling the cute creatures in the latter part of 2015, much to the outrage of animal rights activists.

“This is sick and immoral,” said one hippie campaigner, who was probably high on pot at the time. “You can’t play God. Those poor animals have been genetically robbed of their lives. Consumerism cannot dictate nature. This is wrong on so many levels.”

In defence of the modification, Prof Gaynor agreed that shortening a pup’s life was questionable, but pointed out that their time on earth here will at least be full of love for that short period, instead of being abandoned or abused because their owners couldn’t care less.

“What’s better: a long life of misery, or a short one full of love and admiration?” he posed.

It is not clear whether the ‘Christmas Puppies’ genetics team will extend their practice to other animals, such as gerbils or ponies, as they will need funding to begin testing.

However, there has already been some interest in human trials by the Chinese government.