Every Home That Registers With Irish Water To Get Free Love/Hate Boxset

IN A final desperate bid to entice homeowners to send in their details, Irish Water has announced they will give a free Love/Hate box set in time for Christmas to all new customers who sign up before November 30th.

Company director John Teirney told WWN today that the box set will include the latest season, which is due to end this Sunday evening.

“We have already seen a massive increase in new sign ups this morning,” he claimed. “It will make a great gift for anyone one who hasn’t seen it and comes at a retail price of €59.99.”

News of the freebie came just hours after a violent protest outside Coolock Garda station last night where hundreds of angry protesters began shouting in an aggressive manor towards the building. This was believed to have been the follow on from an earlier protest at Santry Sports Club in Northwood, where Taoiseach Enda Kenny was attending an opening.

“The daft bastards don’t get it yet,” explained one protester. “No one is going to pay this charge and they are not listening to peaceful protests. Unfortunately, it is time to step it up a gear and start making some noise.”

Yesterday, the High Court granted an order setting up a 20-metre exclusion zone around water meter installations, which, when enforced could see people evacuated from their homes if they fall under the radius range.

“My house is ten meters from the mains outside so when they come to install it I have to move to the back garden.” said one man. “What if it’s raining or something? I’ll have to watch me Love/Hate Boxset through the back window. It’s an absolute disgrace.”

So far three homeowners have sent in their details this morning to avail of the special offer.