“That Hermione Has A Cracking Set Of Frontal Lobes On Her,” Agree Men


emma watson

AN impassioned speech from actress and UN Goodwill Ambassador for Women Emma Watson has enraptured countless thousands of people around the world with her address to the UN, recorded and available on YouTube, going viral.

Here in Ireland, many men responded positively to the call-to-action speech in which Watson defined feminism in correct and accurate terms not normally present in the modern pop-culture, media-driven narrative on feminism.

Andy, Danny and Johnny, three workers on a Dublin building site were understood to be overwhelmed by what has been called a ‘game-changing speech’ as it appealed to all people and their desire for equality and a more nuanced understanding of gender stereotypes.

“That Hermione has a cracking set of frontal lobes on her,” said Johnny as his coworkers nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, but did you see that picture of her words dressed up in tight, articulate interpretations that evoked the work of de Beauvoir while wisely steering clear of the more objectionable work from such feminists as Sheila Jeffreys,” added Andy as he tucked into his breakfast roll.

The influence of Watson’s speech has moved far beyond the building sites of Ireland and to the heart of the tabloid media who have placed rumours of nude pictures of the UN ambassador on the front page instead of a call for equality whose purpose was to remove rank and repugnant sexism from the daily lives of young men and women.

The move by some publications to specialise in the objectification of women, which contributes in no small part to the struggles for equality in modern society, was presumably a piece of performance art and not yet another example of how morally bankrupt large sections of the media is.

“What I wouldn’t do to be alone with her concise and knowledgeable statements on a strangely divisive yet universally agreeable opinion that feminism is firstly a desire for equality to be a right for all people – no matter their gender, class or colour,” added Danny as he artfully avoided exposing his builder’s crack while bending down to pick up some tools.

It is thought Watson’s speech could go on to empower millions, but will fail to make a dent on several young men and women’s ignorant misconceptions about what feminism actually entails leading them to declare “I liked her Harry Potter and she’s so pretty but I’ll be fucked if I’m listening to feministism”.

They will also correctly criticise Watson’s decision not to just write a list on buzzfeed with amusing gif accompaniments.