Galway Lad Makes Mistake Of Befriending Complete Loser On 1st Day Of College

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GALWAY lad Niall Hickey has woken up today with the fresh stench of loser on his clothes following a seemingly harmless encounter with fellow first year UCD student Conor Tiernan.

As the first day of third level education can be a nervous occasion filled with a number of intimidating moments many students, including Niall, often attempt to spark up awkward conversation with other students.

“Well, I was just hovering around, staring at the ground for a bit,” explained Niall, “and then we were sort of all encouraged to chat to one another, there were some seriously hot girls, but I held off for a moment before going to talk to them and that’s when Conor said hello”.

Niall and Conor spoke for a brief time sticking to pre-approved ‘man talk’ such as the football and more football.

“We were getting on grand, turns out he really likes the Smiths too, and we only live two minutes away from each other and then, it, it happened,” Niall added.

As Niall initially talked to Conor he was able to establish that he was comfortably more attractive than his newly made friend, thus affording himself a perfect companion during his college years as, next to Conor, Niall would always project a better, more impressive image.

However, Niall had not accounted for the fact that Conor had expertly hidden his tendency towards loser like behaviour and decision making.

“A group of girls came over to introduce themselves, he just started staring and literally said nothing until he mentioned comic books, he fucking mentioned comic books,” Niall said exacerbated.

What troubled Niall most from his morning talking to Conor was the realisation that as is often the case in life and particularly in college, once a person has hitched themselves to you under the vaguest sense of familiarity or ‘friendship’ they are near impossible to shake, run from or abandon.

“Fuck it, my brother said something like this could happen, but it was too early in the morning to be that fucking alert about it,” a disconsolate Niall added before heading off to meet Conor who had just texted him for the 8th time this morning.

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