Thousands Attend Martin Cahill Festival In Dublin



THE North inner city was the location yesterday for thousands of revelers commemorating the 20th anniversary of the assassination of popular Dublin criminal Martin ‘The General’ Cahill.

The Martin Cahill festival, which was launched in 2004 by a gang of youths, has gone from strength to strength over the years, attracting some of the country’s hardest and most revered criminals.

“It’s a great day out kid,” said Limerick gangster Gerry ‘The Hacksaw’ Kane, who is nominated for best gangland hit in this year’s awards ceremony. “The free balaclavas and Micky mouse boxer shorts are a nice touch by the organisers too. I’m looking forward to ‘The General Awards’ ceremony later tonight. I’m absolutely honoured to be up for an award sham!”

Opening this year’s ceremony on Grenville Street will be local reformed Crumlin criminal Martin ‘The Viper’ Foley.

“I knew Martin well, so this means a lot to me,” said a tearful Foley. “It’s great to see so many familiar faces here. Except that cunt over there who I’m going to have words within a minute. Are you packin’?”

As a tribute to the General, Lord Mayor of Dublin Christy Burke renamed Grenville Street to ‘Martin Cahil Avenue’ – the childhood home of the ordinary decent criminal.

On the 18th of August 1994, Martin Cahill was repeatedly shot in the face and upper torso by an unknown gunman with with a.357 Magnum revolver, suspected to be a member of the IRA.

It is believed that without Cahill, the average crime journalist in Ireland would have only written 12 books on Dublin’s gangland, instead of 43.