87% Of Made Up Transfer Rumours Traced Back To Your Mate John

THE FOOTBALL transfer window rumour mill industry, which now employs over 5,000 people in Britain and Ireland, has suffered a blow following the revelations that as much as 87% of all made up transfer rumours can be traced back to your mate John.

“I started it as a laugh and then it kind of got out of control,” John exclusively told WWN. It is thought football fans confidence in the media has been shattered following these revelations which means the likes of the Daily Mail, the Mirror and the Sun don’t even make up their own, completely unfounded rumours.

John admitted to coining the term ‘my mate works at [insert Premier League stadium here] and just saw Ronaldo having a medical’ back in late 2001 which did so much for the burgeoning rumour mill industry at the time.

Does he feel aggrieved that Sky Sports News have taken much of the credit for all of his hard work?

“Jim White seems like a nice bloke and I’ll be honest, I never wanted my rumours to be traced back to me so it’s good in a way,” explained John.

John admitted that sometimes he could get carried away with himself when it came to rumours and wants it on record his apologies to Manchester United fans for suggesting they could sign the likes of Arturo Vidal. He also admits feeling guilty f0r tricking Southampton into spending £12 million on Shane Long.

“Sometimes I like to take the piss though, but it has in the past backfired,” John says of some of his completely unfounded rumours that he just plucks out of his arse and circulates amongst his friends.

“I’m pretty sure Jack Rodwell would have stayed at Everton that time only for the fact I said Man City were interested. I also took a great Football Manager player, James Rodriguez, and linked him with Real Madrid before the World Cup for a laugh and they only went and spent 70 million on the guy”.

With deadline day fast approaching John has admitted he will continue to push certain rumours.

“It’s in my blood at this stage, but seriously if Spurs can move a bit of cash about, they’ll be in for Iniesta to the tune of £40 million, and they’re looking to resign Peter Crouch but I hear his wage demands are too high”.