Relief As Landslide In India Kills No White People



WWN can report that there has been a palpable sense of relief here in the Western world following the news that no white people have killed in the latest catastrophe to hit a country.

A landslide in a small village in the Maharashtra region of India has resulted in large scale injuries and fatalities of non-caucasian citizens.

Residents in the West had initially braced themselves for reports of victims from countries such as America, England, Australia and Ireland being caught up in the chaos but were overjoyed to learn that, of the several thousand victims, none were white.

“I thought I’d pick up the paper and see the usual story of how some innocent white person like me had died, but thankfully it’s not the case,” shard Dublin resident Mark Hynes.

“I stuck on Sky News as soon as I heard,” revealed Clare woman Karen McSorley, “and thank God there was only one-on-one interviews with locals, couldn’t understand a bloody word of it so I flicked back to the Eastenders repeat. It’s hardly worth watching if their not English-speaking, is it? Those subtitles do my head in”.

Thankfully coverage of the disaster will be reduced to occasional reports on television and small articles on page 29 of newspapers as the lack of Western casualties means it is hardly worth fixating on.

Embassies of western countries moved quickly to reassure the public that they could go back to watching other, more important news stories now that it was confirmed no white were harmed in the making of this particular natural disaster.

In the coming days it is hoped a white person comes forward with a compelling first hand account of how they almost died so we can better grasp what has happened in India.