“Kay Burley Asked Me To Find Her A Bottle Of Chanel No. 5”, Reveals Colin Brazier



SKY News reporter Colin Brazier has today apologised for rummaging  in the luggage of one of the doomed passengers of Malaysian Airlines flight MH17, explaining that he had been asked by Sky News anchor Kay Burley to “see if he could get her a bottle of Chanel No.5”.

Brazier had been at the site of the crash which claimed the lives of all 298 people on board while doing a piece on how most people have luggage while travelling. In shocking scenes broadcast live on air, the veteran journalist was shown to rifle through a suitcase which belonged to one of the victims of the disaster before correcting himself and continuing with his report.

Tabloid newspapers, who have never done anything untoward while pursuing a front page headline, were quick to attack.

“Look, when you work for a global news agency, picking through the wreckage of human life is basically your entire job description, ” said Spike Thomson, freelance journalist for several major tabloids. “Actually, literally, poking around in a dead person’s suitcase? That’s perfectly acceptable. But to allow yourself to be caught on camera while doing it? What must he have been thinking?”

Pressed for an apology, an emotional Brazier today released a statement offering a full explanation for his bizarre actions, claiming that fellow Sky News reporter Kay Burley had given him a list of things she wanted him to pick up.

“I fully apologise for my actions while reporting from the Ukraine” said Brazier, in an exclusive interview with himself.

“Kay Burley had asked me to see if I could find her a bottle or two of Chanel No. 5, as well as a Nintendo 3DS and a charger for an iPhone if at all possible”.

“Normally I’m reporting from Downing Street or Afghanistan or somewhere boring like that, so when Sky News gets the call about some really juicy tragedy such as the Malaysian Flight being shot down by Russians or Ukrainians or whoever; that’s when we get requests from the whole news team”.

As Pro-Russian separatists hand over the recovered Black Boxes from the stricken flight, Brazier remains at the crash site to report on the ongoing investigation and see if he can find the Duty Free cart.