Every RTÉ Presenter Practising ‘Okey Doke’ In Mirror This Morning


Bill O'Herlihy

As the curtain fell on RTÉ’s coverage of this year’s World Cup, Bill O’Herlihy, soccer-presenting luminary hung up his boots and retired, paving the way for a number of RTÉ employees to desperately clamber to replace him.

The corridors of RTÉ have been filled with non-stop utterances of several iconic O’Herlihy phrases and quips this morning, including ‘okey doke’.

One member of staff is believed to have quit the broadcaster upon overhearing Aidan Power practicing his Bill-esque cadence in the men’s toilets.

“He said ‘we’ll leave it there so’ and then I heard the plop and splash,” the distraught ex-RTÉ employee told WWN.

Darragh Maloney is favourite to replace O’Herlihy but has angered his rivals for the position these past few days due to the clear presence of a ‘shit-eating grin’.

“He just walks around with a mirror suspended from his head, looking at himself saying ‘okey doke’, he’s walked into several walls, but doesn’t seem to care, it’s bizarre,” an RTÉ insider told WWN.

Brian Dobson, clearly angered by the arrogance displayed by Maloney, concluded today’s News At 1 with ‘okey doke’, giving the clearest indication yet he would like to succeed O’Herlihy as soccer anchor.

Head of sport at RTÉ Ryle Nugent has spoken of his distaste for several presenters who have been pleading their case to replace broadcasting legend O’Herlihy so soon after the venerable presenter retired.

“That Daithi O’Sé has literally set up a tent outside my house, the lunatic just sits there playing a recording of himself saying ‘okey doke’ over and over again. And he has that stupid grin on his face the whole time, I’m driven insane.”

RTÉ paid a fitting and touching tribute to O’Herlihy last night, which prompted Eamon Dunphy to break down in tears, it is believed Dunphy is still crying and being consoled by Bill himself as we speak.

An RTÉ press officer has confirmed Dunphy will donate his tears to Irish Water.