Leaving Cert Student To Start Studying After One More YouTube Video
WESTMEATH student PJ Molloy has declared his intentions to begin studying for his upcoming Leaving Certificate examinations following a viewing of one last YouTube video.
The announcement comes following increasing pressure from both parents to focus on his academics, which included threats to both smash the household WiFi router and throw his phone into an unspecified body of water, assumed to be a toilet or a well.
The 17-year-old scholar, who attends St. Judes Secondary School in the Westmeath side of Athlone, is hoping to achieve enough points in his Leaving Certificate to study computers or something in DIT, but has up until now found his attempts to concentrate on his studies due to a crippling case of procrastination coupled with an addiction to YouTube videos of skateboarders face planting into the ground and household animals acting in amusing ways.
“The exams sure crept up on me so they did” said Molloy, aka YouTube username ATHLONeSmoKESTAX69.
“English Paper 1 is on the 4th of June, hi. The aul lassie has warned me to get the head into the books and I will, but first I have to just watch this one YouTube video that the lads posted on Facebook. It’s a compilation of all these lads doing that freerunnning craic, falling off roofs and smacking their heads into walls and getting hit in the balls with fence rails and things. It’s only ten minutes long and once I have that watched the studying will be done, unless there’s a link to something else at the end like UFC lads kicking the shit out of each other or newsreaders making a show of themselves”.
Doubts remain in the Molloy household as to the validity of PJ’s statements, as the young man has been watching one last YouTube video for several weeks, coupled with promises to concentrate more on schoolwork and less on social media and satirical news websites.