Minister For Health Totally Taking The Credit For The Smoking Ban Today


THE MINISTER for health Dr. James Reilly is expected to totally take the smoking ban credit for the majority of the day today, it has been revealed.

The Fine Gael TD, who has been praising the smoking ban’s success since he woke up this morning, is expected to ignore the fact that his predecessor, Michael Martin, was actually the one who implemented the ban in 2004.

“Heart attacks are down ten percent since the government introduced the smoking ban,” he said at a press sitting, while ignoring questions about closed pubs. “We can safely say this has been a stunning achievement in the fight against tobacco related deaths in Ireland.”

The Minister noted that the cumulative effect of Ireland’s tobacco control legislation to date has been a decrease in the number of people smoking.

“We plan to have Ireland tobacco free by 2025,” added the health minister. “I’m so glad we began this fight. Look at how far we’ve come. We should have thought about implementing it sooner.”

Meanwhile Fianna Fail leader Michael Martin, known for his cunning ability to forget bad things he did while in government, is expected to claim the smoking ban for his own at some stage later today.