Adult Male Wonders If Playing With His Freshly Cut Toenail Clippings After Shower Is Normal

NORMALLY functioning adult, James Hogan, wondered to himself whether playing with his toenail clippings was normal, after freshly clipping them post-shower this morning.

The 34-year-old barman spent over ten minutes bending and rolling his nails while sitting on the edge of his bed, but admitted hiding the specimens from long-time partner Geraldine Holden when she entered the room.

“I don’t know how should would take it to be honest,” Hogan told himself. “It’s not something one thinks about logically. I think it’s best to keep the ritual to myself and not have her questioning my sanity.”

The potential father of children immediately picked up the biggest clipping again upon his partners exit from the bedroom, which they share.

“I suppose there is nothing wrong with it.” he added to his mind. “Its kind of hard to let go of things that were once attached to you. Maybe that’s why I play with my snots too.

“You just have to say goodbye first before discarding them.”

Following his inner struggle, James eventually decided to dispense of his toenails into the toilet, but they wouldn’t flush.

“Should they float like that?” he asked himself. “Maybe I should have wrapped them in toilet paper first so they’d sink. Ger will have a fit if she sees them yellow yokes bobbing about.”

Using his hand, Mr. Hogan fished out the toenails from the toilet bowl, and began playing with them again.

“One last roll won’t hurt.” he thought, before piercing himself with a jagged piece.

“FUCK SAKE!!”

James then decided enough was enough and wrapped the nails in tissue before this time successfully flushing them down the toilet.

“I can’t wait till next time.” he concluded.