Ireland To Return To The Bond Markets, Whatever They Are


WWN understands many Irish people are reacting positively to the news that Ireland is to return to the bond markets imminently, whatever they are.

The National Treasury Management Agency (NTMA) is to issue a 10-year government bond which bodes well for the overall health and future of the Irish economy, we think.

WWN’s resident financial expert Rupert Haliburton explains it all:

“Well, when taken into account, the bond markets, are, well receptive, to moneys, to Ireland as a going concern. It’s quite straight forward really – the bond markets are… is it just me or is it hot in here?”

WWN took to the streets to get the Irish public’s reaction to the news that Ireland is set to return to the bond markets:

Barry Hegarty, 22-year-old student from Wexford: “Is that good, yeah? Ah yeah, good”

Gary Barnes, 31-year-old financial consultant: “That’s not where Paddy Power offer odds on who the next James Bond will be, is it?”

Clara O’Toole, 25-year-old Nurse: “Oh, thank Christ, that’s my life changed for the better, I can actually feel the change, it’s instantaneous…well done Enda and the lads”

Rory Kelly, 6-year-old, unemployed boy: “These are the same capital markets who declared our bonds junk, driving us towards the bailout option and no doubt they had a hand in carving up some of the price-reduced assets, both private and public, held by the Nation. Excuse me if I don’t jump for joy and pretend this is a perfect system.

“This issuance will be facilitated by several companies who by the measure of the most basic moral compass are morally bankrupt on a colossal scale. This is all played out in some sort of solipsistic jargon in order to obfuscate the details for ‘Joe public’. I’m 6 years on this planet and nothing ever changes, does it?”