Coppers Announce €6.8 Million Profit As Gonorrhoea Cases Soar By 33%


This week in strange coincidences the HSE revealed that gonorrhoea cases in Ireland have increased by 33% in recent years while nightclub du jour Coppers announced a whopping €6.8 million profit.

The increase in gonorrhoea cases was highlighted at the launch of a new awareness campaign focused on spreading the word, not the disease.

The campaign “OMG: Gonorrhoea…It’s Trending” was jointly launched by, Dublin AIDS Alliance, the Union of Students, the HSE and Think Contraception.

The aim of the campaign is to raise STI awareness via social media platforms such as Twitter and Facebook. The 33% rise in cases of gonorrhoea has come mainly in the young men and women bracket.

Meanwhile the night life behemoth that is Coppers is the envy of the services industry as it announced profits of €6.8 million with a quarter of a million of that provided by the cloakroom alone. The rise in profits has mainly come from the young men and women client bracket.

Coppers has in recent times gained a notable reputation as the premier night spot in the country, making the most of being name checked ad hoc in every facet of Irish media leaving no need to pay for any advertising of any kind.

While there is no standardised barometer for measuring the ‘craic’ a nightclub can offer a patron it is thought until such a system is conceived people will inexplicably flock to the Harcourt St. hot spot.