Astronomy Ireland: ‘Comet Was Some Heap Of Shite’


ASTRONOMY IRELAND confirmed today that Comet ISON was ‘some heap of shite’ after it burned up today passing through the sun’s atmosphere.

The crap piece of rock’s 5.5-million-year journey to the inner solar system ended after it broke up like a ‘soggy digestive in a mug of tea’ , astronomers have said.

“It was hyped up to be the comet of the century,” explained chairman of the astronomy group, Tony Flannery. “I don’t know why I even wasted my time looking at it through my telescope this week.”

“Stupid fucking thing.” he added.

The comet, known as Ison, was discovered last year when it was still far beyond Jupiter, raising the prospect of a spectacular naked-eye object by the time it graced Earth’s skies in December.

Thousands of amateur stargazers across the country were left disappointed with the comets poor performance, leaving many stating that they will give up looking at the night sky altogether.

“What’s the fucking point?” said one disgusted man. “You spend ages trying to set up a scope. Then it’s either too cloudy or some celestial body comes along and ruins everything by burning shit up. That Comet went down like a sack of spuds. I’m glad I’ll never see it again.”

“It should be renamed ‘faggot’ for the history books.” he concluded.