Woman In Search Of True Love Scores Underwhelming 33-Year-Old Male In Nightclub

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Dublin native Caoimhe Carey is recovering today from an almighty hangover after the latest ‘girl’s night out’.

Caoimhe, the last of her single friends, was politely condescended to by her married friends as they insisted she would ‘find the one’ despite expressing no dissatisfaction at being single.

As the night progressed and several wine bottles were drained Caoimhe and her friends found themselves on the dancefloor of Coppers writhing the night away.

Before Caoimhe’s friends, now living vicariously through their single friend, demanded she accost several drunken men in a vain attempt to instantaneously form a romantic bond worthy of marriage.

Caoimhe, now drunk on a cocktail of alcohol, psychological torture and loneliness decided that perhaps 3.20 am in a dimly nightclub was the perfect time and place to find true love.

Waking up this morning Caoimhe instantly realised the error of her ways as the young professional with the abs of steel she went to bed with had in fact transformed into an overweight, balding 33-yearl-old who had a pronounced flatulence problem.

As she realised she was 20 minutes late for work she also received a heartfelt text from one of her friends concerned that Caoimhe ‘was drunk and acting last night out because you don’t have the emotional security a partner and husband provides’.

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